Skylark Rogers

Episode 6 (New Faces) begins Thairn's and Illa's respective missions now that they've separated, and astute readers of the rough draft will notice things go... differently. Which gives me a chance to talk through some of this book's editing process~. Folks who've watched me on this for a while know I spent less than a month writing the entire first draft, and then years editing it.

So, first, let's take a look at where Illa has split off.

In this final version of the book, Illa has come into his infiltration of Gabriel's thoroughly glamoured. He's convinced Eric and Gabriel alike that he's human, and he's fully prepared to have his guise tested.

( In the rough draft? He had... a much worse plan. )
As you might guess, this did not go well.

Honest to cats, I'm not sure why I did this in the rough draft? Other than the fact that I just wasn't able to handle writing Illa and Gabriel's arc. It ended up being several years--and some essential self-discovery--for me to really reach the point where I could do it justice. First readers were disappointed, too, since they liked Illa and had been hoping for an intriguing (and kinky) arc. I'm happy to say there's a proper arc now.

Anyway. Thairn's start also goes differently, and in a way that reflects a lot of the changes I made from rough draft to final in this book. In the rough draft, Thairn and Mickey's meeting in his bedroom didn't end with just talking. That and other sexual scenes were deleted or pushed back--the relationship arcs in general have been slowed down considerably. Including Thairn and Illa--they went from zero to collaring real fast in the rough draft. And Illa fell quickly into romantic and sexual affections for Thairn.

I ended up deciding I wanted a slower pace for sexual and romantic stuff. Quickburn stuff so often annoys me when reading. For Illa and Thairn, I wanted to properly respect and honor the nonsexual, nonromantic, and still wickedly intense facets of their kink relationship. Illa's sexual and romantic feelings towards Thairn will change over time, but that doesn't mean the rest of who they are to each other is just a stepping-stone or of lesser importance.

For Mickey and Thairn, there were two factors. For one, spending a while building up some sexual tension is just so much more fun. Romantically, too--I love watching people get to know one another and only fall into affection once you genuinely feel a bond between them. But for another, there was a major consent issue with that first bedroom scene. Mickey's just caught Thairn out as a spy, has her alone in his bedroom behind wards, and propositions her for sex? He and I know that if she wanted to say no, he'd be fine with it, but does she know that? And does he have reason to expect her to know that?

That ended up being one of several different changes I made around sexual consent. Another was the incident with the domme who took things too far. In the original, she touched instead of hit. The point of the scene, narratively, is that someone violates Illa's boundaries, it confirms the psychological tactic they're testing is working, while also leaving Thairn worried and angry. That didn't need to be done the way I originally wrote it. So, that got cut and replaced with hitting.

There was another other sexually uncomfortable scene that got cut for similar reasons. I think my initial intent with it was comedic--Illa talking to Thairn, worried about what to do if he has to fully carry out seducing Greta, while the audience knows both Illa and Greta are equally disinterested in that prospect--but it was honestly just uncomfortable. It wasn't necessary to the plot at all, and the sequence as it played out in the final draft, with no interruption to the building tension as the nightmare descends, turned out damned good, in my opinion.

And finally, Mickey was originally much more of a dick to the first teacher being strip-searched, which was written funny but wasn't really funny when you thought about it too long. So, that also got trimmed.

I'm much happier with where these scenes have landed now.