Branches: Confrontation with Magdalena
Jan. 15th, 2023 11:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skylarkrogersContains spoilers for Episode 19: Disenchanted.
This part of the book was actually probably the most difficult to edit. I like to be kind of logical with stories. If someone happens to be somewhere, go somewhere, or do something, I like there to be a reason or for there to at least not be too big of a coincidence around it. And I certainly don't want to have characters doing counter-intuitive stuff for no clear reason.
The original draft had... a lot of coincidence and counter-intuitive stuff.
For one, Thairn just sort of handed Illa over to Magdalena unprompted and with no reason to believe it would be safe or a good idea.
For two, there were no pumpkins, and Magdalena took Illa to Faerie. Which made little sense--the border forests are monitored, so she'd be exposing herself unnecessarily, and she would have no reason to have not done this already, unlike the pumpkin. (In the final draft, there is, in fact, a reason why Magdalena didn't use the pumpkin on Illa at first and then changed her mind... the surface reason being that she only had one that was ripe enough to use and was originally going to use it on her would-be heir, before deciding that using it on Illa was the better option. And the underlying reason having to do with heirship magic stuff that I'm not going to delve into until late in the series.)
Then a nameless student told Thairn that Magdalena had taken Illa out of the mansion, so Thairn went after them. Far better to have Marco, who isn't nameless and has a reason to be where he is and to be suspicious and report things to Thairn.
And finally, instead of this whole capture scenario, Illa agreed to go back. After getting safely to Faerie! Honey, no.
We did lose a couple of things with the changes. Mickey hadn't been stabbed yet in the first draft, so there was a swordfight with Thairn guiding Mickey's blade, and they killed Magdalena together. We also got a rollicking round of The Wheels on the Bus, though honestly I like the Mother Goose rhyme fight better. And Illa might perhaps have preferred the original chain of events, since he got to have his wings healed right after the fight was done.
This part of the book was actually probably the most difficult to edit. I like to be kind of logical with stories. If someone happens to be somewhere, go somewhere, or do something, I like there to be a reason or for there to at least not be too big of a coincidence around it. And I certainly don't want to have characters doing counter-intuitive stuff for no clear reason.
The original draft had... a lot of coincidence and counter-intuitive stuff.
For one, Thairn just sort of handed Illa over to Magdalena unprompted and with no reason to believe it would be safe or a good idea.
For two, there were no pumpkins, and Magdalena took Illa to Faerie. Which made little sense--the border forests are monitored, so she'd be exposing herself unnecessarily, and she would have no reason to have not done this already, unlike the pumpkin. (In the final draft, there is, in fact, a reason why Magdalena didn't use the pumpkin on Illa at first and then changed her mind... the surface reason being that she only had one that was ripe enough to use and was originally going to use it on her would-be heir, before deciding that using it on Illa was the better option. And the underlying reason having to do with heirship magic stuff that I'm not going to delve into until late in the series.)
Then a nameless student told Thairn that Magdalena had taken Illa out of the mansion, so Thairn went after them. Far better to have Marco, who isn't nameless and has a reason to be where he is and to be suspicious and report things to Thairn.
And finally, instead of this whole capture scenario, Illa agreed to go back. After getting safely to Faerie! Honey, no.
We did lose a couple of things with the changes. Mickey hadn't been stabbed yet in the first draft, so there was a swordfight with Thairn guiding Mickey's blade, and they killed Magdalena together. We also got a rollicking round of The Wheels on the Bus, though honestly I like the Mother Goose rhyme fight better. And Illa might perhaps have preferred the original chain of events, since he got to have his wings healed right after the fight was done.
